friend photo contest

Hey Y'all,

So a good friend of mine is looking for some support with an online photo contest for a scholarship. It would be great if you could view and vote for it; show some support! She deserves it.

check out the photo and vote here.

Cheers

remember to bring a shovel

don't forget to remember.

yes, here we are.

we are here.

albert einstein said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

but if i know i'm going crazy then I must not be insane?

absurdities aside,

i'm not doing well.

something happened along the way and my foot fell off the pedal. i got out of the university machine and laid in the grass to watch the clouds pass. the leaves fell on top of me and i shuffled my body around to make a bed and took an afternoon nap beneath an oak tree. i awoke to find myself cold and hungry and instead of nourishing my healthy mind i decided to smoke a cigarette and drink cheap beer.

so here we are. I am here. the ninth semester of higher education and i'm failing. motivation turned contemplation into content for nothing. i'm practically behind in everything I got myself into. someone said today that they were about at their usual "one time a semester all-nighter cram." I thought about this and realized that I too am prone to this (procrastination has been a life trend); but mine always seem to drag for days, weeks perhaps. sleepless nights and early mournings, lack of food and abundance of stimulants. the work seems to have always gotten done, though. even with decent grades, nay even good grades, in the end.

i fear that i have pushed the nothing envelope too far this time.

true there still is time left to dig myself out of this hole I buried myself into.

my burrow is deep, but i can still smell the fresh air.

on a brighter note.

isn't it wonderful when someone unexpectedly comes out of nowhere and surprises you with hope that there are beautiful people to love in this world?

mmhm. it's nice to smile.

that is all.

kalamazoo daze.

there and back again. here I sit in my bedroom filled with my books and vinyl and pictures and sweaters; nothing keeps my head from wondering away from here. kalamazoo is the same place as I left it and that's not a bad thing. I realized quickly that I had missed this place. okay I'm lying, I missed the people, my family being so close, close friends, close proximity to comfort and ect. I said it, I like it here.

but, being back, what am I to do but think ahead. what's next?

well, all I know for now is that I am here for at least another year finishing school and then who knows. I could end up staying longer, but that will all come with availability of work and level of confidence I find myself with. for now I am comfortable.

these days have been filled with laziness and heat. one summer class, no job, no money, and a volunteer spot on the college radio station fills my time accordingly. I barely make any time for the one class I am taking. I hope I can pass it. I need to pass it. I MUST pass it. there is no way around it. I laugh because it's a creative writing class. how can you fail a creative writing class in the summer for god's sake? well, its a scriptwriting class and I am two weeks and twenty pages behind where I should stand. procrastination has followed me my entire life and the stoned summer sun does nothing to help.

it is 4:59 am and it is obnoxious that I am still up and have yet squeeze out any substance on this script. blah.

also, I might try more diligently in my efforts to write a blog. I just might.

bethink oneself of

sometimes I remember the times when I was with everyone who made me who I am. sometimes I think I might grow old in these same shoes. sometimes I want to shout at the top of my lungs that I am thankful. that I care. sometimes I say nothing at all. sometimes I look around and remember how different this all used to be. how these things we used to put so much care into, so much thought and love, so much passion and energy, these things are just sedentary thoughts of non existence. but I still exist, well, at least I think. and not therefor I am. because that is a slimy epoch of what we are. so what am I really trying to say?

well, listen, I only keep thinking of change; change in feeling, mindset,behavior, likes, dislikes, thoughts, wants, needs, looks, actions, inaction's, habits, and of course, all happening within a changing space and time. daily, we are changing. we are the change. I am changing. and I am glad. I prune too easily in stagnant waters and feel sticky when I sit too long. is this to say I want to forever drift, constantly searching? no. certainly not. more so I wish to acknowledge the people that are involved in our collective change. all the thoughts involved in the daily changes that we all experience. we're all struggling on this perception of existence.